How could you ever be done grieving after 12 months? Grief is a lifetime if you truly loved. It can shut you down when you least expect it, even years later. To lose a child? I cannot fathom the depth of that, yet I have friends who know it all too well. Still, even in their grief or I should say especially in their grief, they find Joy! I’m so happy you’ve not only found yours but through your words are able to remind us that it is possible. We remind our kids to never settle for a small life. Joy is everywhere if you just take the time to look.
I am so angry at the "PGD" pseudo diagnosis. "Don't be a downer - just get over it already." Has no one told them - have they not experienced - the fact that grief is not linear? Did they sit in a room and decide "ok 11 months is ok but 12 months is pathological"?
The Daniel Radcliffe play reminded me of my own experiment, about 10 years ago. I was in a funk and I decided I would acknowledge one amazing thing every day for a full year. I called it my moment of Fav (Favvulous) and chronicled it on Facebook. My favorite was encountering a woman with a Marge Simpson blue afro on the 1 train. It’s corny, but it made me stop and appreciate all the good in my life. Writing and creating brings me joy these days. 🐓🐓
I also love Marimekko. I think that pink yarn I got in Cork reminds me of those Marimekko flowers.
"PGD" I kind of hate psychiatry - pathologizing being human. I lost my beloved dog who I had for 14 years - he was 17 - a year and a half ago. He was my constant companion, traveled everywhere with me. I miss him terribly, every day. Yes I can function but I will always miss him. Grief is not pathology and being told to "just get over it" is bs. The cultural loathing of any heavy emotion is itself crazy.
Oh, Ann! You give me so much to chew on in your notes!! In a nutshell of a comment: Every aspect of your grieving is relatable, not always bigger but; losing a job, a pet, your best friend moving across the country. I certainly am astounded and incredulous that anyone would give grief a time limit. Insane. Keep on keeping on in your own way. Finding small joys, I think I shared with you some of the ways I find it in one of your previous notes. Just recently, I met up with an old friend for lunch. She gifted me with a silver bracelet with four little balls around it. It’s called an Irish Blessings bracelet. Maybe you’ve heard of it, I certainly hadn’t. Spend a minute several times a day to focus on four gratuous things as you rub your
fingers over around them, and then focus on those blessings, small joys, moments that are just good enough. People say it’s the small stuff. I say it’s the glorious!!
I just read about the “grief disorder” What absolute nonsense! My darling husband will always be with me; it’s not a crippling grief, but it is grief nonetheless.
Oh, Ann! Your "My Gracie" photo takes our breath away. Those eyes and cheeks and little eyebrows, dear God. No words are needed for how you feel about her and always will, that photo says it all. But we love your words! Thank you for sharing your beautiful, bold, brave, all-the-feelings life with us through all of your spot-on writings and photos. Appreciation from a very long time reader, follower, supporter who savors your work like, well, like hot soup and brown bread with Dromona butter and a pot of tea following a Dunquin Pier hike / Dingle Peninsula on a spectacularly rainy and windy day!
If we view the arc of our life as our ultimate Big Trip, I am so happy to report back that you have definitely chosen the Champagne for however long that final hotel stay is.
(And if we were in the business of writing self-help books [maybe we should be?], "Choose the Champagne" would bankroll many more fabulous hotel stays!)
Your trip was fabulous and I love that you created a champagne ending. Choosing joy will need a new attitude, and I am up for the challenge. Thank you.
How could you ever be done grieving after 12 months? Grief is a lifetime if you truly loved. It can shut you down when you least expect it, even years later. To lose a child? I cannot fathom the depth of that, yet I have friends who know it all too well. Still, even in their grief or I should say especially in their grief, they find Joy! I’m so happy you’ve not only found yours but through your words are able to remind us that it is possible. We remind our kids to never settle for a small life. Joy is everywhere if you just take the time to look.
On a side note, fried rye bread! Yes, please.
I am so angry at the "PGD" pseudo diagnosis. "Don't be a downer - just get over it already." Has no one told them - have they not experienced - the fact that grief is not linear? Did they sit in a room and decide "ok 11 months is ok but 12 months is pathological"?
Infuriating, right?
For real. And "yearning"??? What, missing those you've lost?
I have dear friends who had a suicide in their immediate family many years ago. Are they supposed to "just get over it"?
The loss of a child? 😡😡😡
I loved reading every moment of this and loved seeing the travel photos… that library in Helsinki… the sweet stork… 🩷🩷🩷
Loved this one! ❤️
The Daniel Radcliffe play reminded me of my own experiment, about 10 years ago. I was in a funk and I decided I would acknowledge one amazing thing every day for a full year. I called it my moment of Fav (Favvulous) and chronicled it on Facebook. My favorite was encountering a woman with a Marge Simpson blue afro on the 1 train. It’s corny, but it made me stop and appreciate all the good in my life. Writing and creating brings me joy these days. 🐓🐓
I also love Marimekko. I think that pink yarn I got in Cork reminds me of those Marimekko flowers.
I love that you did that, Ellen!
"PGD" I kind of hate psychiatry - pathologizing being human. I lost my beloved dog who I had for 14 years - he was 17 - a year and a half ago. He was my constant companion, traveled everywhere with me. I miss him terribly, every day. Yes I can function but I will always miss him. Grief is not pathology and being told to "just get over it" is bs. The cultural loathing of any heavy emotion is itself crazy.
Oh, Ann! Your words and photos always bring me JOY and remind me to look up and see the beauty that is right here!
Oh, Ann! You give me so much to chew on in your notes!! In a nutshell of a comment: Every aspect of your grieving is relatable, not always bigger but; losing a job, a pet, your best friend moving across the country. I certainly am astounded and incredulous that anyone would give grief a time limit. Insane. Keep on keeping on in your own way. Finding small joys, I think I shared with you some of the ways I find it in one of your previous notes. Just recently, I met up with an old friend for lunch. She gifted me with a silver bracelet with four little balls around it. It’s called an Irish Blessings bracelet. Maybe you’ve heard of it, I certainly hadn’t. Spend a minute several times a day to focus on four gratuous things as you rub your
fingers over around them, and then focus on those blessings, small joys, moments that are just good enough. People say it’s the small stuff. I say it’s the glorious!!
Glorious, indeed! I love the idea of this bracelet too.
Oh , and your post and photos are gorgeous, as always 💕
I just read about the “grief disorder” What absolute nonsense! My darling husband will always be with me; it’s not a crippling grief, but it is grief nonetheless.
Oh, Ann! Your "My Gracie" photo takes our breath away. Those eyes and cheeks and little eyebrows, dear God. No words are needed for how you feel about her and always will, that photo says it all. But we love your words! Thank you for sharing your beautiful, bold, brave, all-the-feelings life with us through all of your spot-on writings and photos. Appreciation from a very long time reader, follower, supporter who savors your work like, well, like hot soup and brown bread with Dromona butter and a pot of tea following a Dunquin Pier hike / Dingle Peninsula on a spectacularly rainy and windy day!
Thank you for this lovely note!
Ann, nice piece in today’s ProJo. Your “joy” thoughts should get a broader audience too — nice essay!
If we view the arc of our life as our ultimate Big Trip, I am so happy to report back that you have definitely chosen the Champagne for however long that final hotel stay is.
(And if we were in the business of writing self-help books [maybe we should be?], "Choose the Champagne" would bankroll many more fabulous hotel stays!)
And Nile cruises!
Loved all of this ! I just read this new article in the New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/06/29/what-science-knows-about-grief?_sp=8cef5be7-7bde-4c18-b200-9f8592bfc66f.1782181703025#
I am so behind with my New Yorkers and so happy you forwarded me this. Thank you. We miss your face, friend.
Thank you for sharing!! ❤
Your trip was fabulous and I love that you created a champagne ending. Choosing joy will need a new attitude, and I am up for the challenge. Thank you.
Joy with my living daughter. While aching for 29 years for my lost daughter who was 18. I DO seek joy everyday
Sending lots of hugs your way, Peggy.