Three Things from Ireland
Surprises! Sheep! Success!
What I’m Writing…
I admit that a few days before we were scheduled to leave for Dublin, I was feeling a bit low. It looked like reading student papers, teaching, necessary appointments, and social commitments were going to keep me from finishing my revisions on my new novel. I had blown the thing up and saw the path to typing THE END clearly. But I simply had no time.
Or so I thought…
After I took a very long walk, I sat outside at the Whitney Museum with a very good smoked turkey sandwich and a notebook and pen. For almost an hour I jotted down plans and lists to help me find the time to get my revisions done. As I wrote, I felt lighter and lighter. More focused. More committed to reaching that finish line.
In fact, I felt positively inspired.
I went home and did my back to back Zoom meetings and then on to my acupuncturist appointment. From there, I rushed uptown to meet my beloved for cocktails and a terrific play…
Then we grabbed burgers from our local Mobil gas station for dinner on our way home…
Do you notice something interesting here, friends? Much of what was keeping me from getting my writing done was actually fun stuff. Sure, there were work commitments too, but I was also socially committed. (Hey! Girls just wanna have fun, right?) But until I took a deep breath and got recentered, I couldn’t even appreciate that. I could only see that I had failed.
Now that I had a plan (more on that in a couple paragraphs), I could relax and stop beating myself up.
The next morning I spent happily cooking and setting up for a luncheon to celebrate my fabulous daughter in law getting her Master of Event Management from NYU. Yay, Katherine!
I made Ina’s Curry Chicken Salad with cashews, two asparagus and gruyere quiches using Julia Child’s unmessupable three ingredient quiche formula, and a Caprese salad, and I bought Magnolia Bakery cupcakes—with purple frosting, of course—for dessert.
We all went to Radio City for the graduation, and then to a rooftop bar with a perfect, up close view of the Empire State Building.
The next morning I woke up, ate a piece of leftover quiche, turned on my computer, and wrote for six hours straight.
I’m telling you, it was bliss. And: I finished the revisions.
My darling husband read the whole manuscript (for the millionth time) and when he finished he looked up teary eyed and said: “It’s beautiful. You did it.”
(Note: having someone who will read your drafts a million times is very helpful.)
By my count, I deleted six characters and three major plot points. Rather than tweak what I’d already written, I started a new document and wrote anew—as Joseph Conrad said: revision literally means to re-see—but I cut and pasted from the last draft as I went along. (Another note: my agent and editor will surely have revision suggestions, but I am so proud and happy with what I’ve done!)
The next day, I flew to Ireland feeling lighthearted.
F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in Tender is the Night: "In any case you mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat."
I’ve been frustrated with these revisions, so when it looked like I wouldn’t have then finished by my (personal) deadline, it sure felt like a defeat. We have to remind ourselves not to give in to those feelings. Get some fresh air and a pen and paper. Eat some protein. Take a deep breath and make a plan for success. Throw a party, then get to work.
What I’m Knitting…
As a kid, one of my favorite things to do was to read the dictionary. That pleasure has not diminished. For example, let’s consider the word to knit.
From Merriam Webster:
1: to form by interlacing yarn or thread in a series of connected loops with needles 2 a: to link firmly or closely knitted my hands b: to cause to grow together time and rest will knit a fractured bone
chiefly dialectal : to tie together
1: to make knitted fabrics or objects 2a: to become compact b: to grow together c: to become drawn together
With these definitions in mind, I thought a lot about all the things I have knit. And I’ve knit a lot of late.
I knit a celebration of family and friends.
I knit a novel.
I knit a surprise. (More on this later!)
I knit a time for cousins to be together.
I knit a far flung getaway for Michael and me.
I knit a Sophie scarf!
Well, kind of…
I knit away happily on our train from Dublin to Cork, listening to Caroline Fraser’s masterpiece, Murderland (more on that in Michael Ruhlman most recent newsletter; also, thank you Laura Lippman). Somewhere around Tipperary, I noticed my ball of yarn was getting smaller but the scarf was getting bigger. Which it should not have been because I was doing decreases.
I stared at the scarf. I scared at the yarn. Uh oh. Instead of decreasing, I had been increasing the entire time.
Since I’m in Ireland, it seems appropriate to quote Bram Stoker: “We learn from failure, not from success.”
I frogged everything I’d knitted that day. Then I began again. Just as we always do. With novels and Sophie scarves and, well, life.
What I’m Thinking About…
Ireland!
I’m writing this from the amazing Breac.House outside of Dunfanaghy in Donegal. Michael and I agree that it is one of the best places we have ever stayed. Catherine and Niall are perfect hosts, breakfasts and lunches are scrumptious, cocktails are made from local gins and whiskies, the rooms are so well appointed, the locally woven blankets cozy, and the views…well…
Here’s what is outside my window:
Though right now it’s raining:
However, regular readers here know how much I love the rain. Hot sun and hot temperatures, not so much. Which is one of the many reasons I love Ireland.
These four days in the remote, wild northwest corner with my beloved gives us time to slow down, recharge, connect with each other and with the natural world. And immerse ourselves in this place we love.
We all need the time to pause, whether it’s a walk on the beach or a night under the stars or spending a few days tucked away in a remote corner of the world. Sometimes it helps if you can do it with someone you love.
And Also…
Speaking of being with someone you love…
How about spending time with lots of people you love?
Before Michael and I came to Donegal, Annabelle and I flew to Dublin to celebrate her college graduation and to see our favorite musical theatre actress, Carrie Hope Fletcher, in Waitress.
What Annabelle didn’t know was that four cousins had flown out the day before to position themselves to surprise her!
Three days of used book stores, museums, making rings (!), lots of coffee and laughing and eating and, of course, Carrie Hope Fletcher.
I think that as much as we need time to retreat, we also need time to connect with the people we love. Sometimes it’s so hard to make the effort to do either. We feel too sad or too angry or too defeated.
When I felt any—or all—of those things, Gogo used to tell me: “Take an hour (or a day or a week) and give yourself a pity party. Then take a deep breath and start over.”
Who knows? You might just finish a project. Fly over three thousand miles to see a play. Surprise someone. Listen to sheep. Laugh.
Or walk into your room and, right out the window, see something like this…
As always, thank you for reading. And for subscribing. And for even paying to subscribe! I’m grateful for you all.
If you’re feeling low or defeated, I hope you can find a way to sit outside and recenter, make a plan forward, take a tiny step or a big leap into some place better.
Hey! Did I mention listening to sheep? Let’s!
Thank you so much for being so generous with your time and your thoughts. I always read every word you write and admire your pursuits of all things, all the time. Traveling mercies to you and your love 💕
There’s nothing that making a good list can’t fix! My daughter and husband make fun of me because I’ve always got a paper and pen at the ready! Cheers to husbands who read, reread and reread our work again and again. Happy you made your deadline. Safe travels, sounds like it’s started off wonderfully!